It's funny how whenever I look at the scale, I say to myself 100 not 200. A bit of denial perhaps or maybe optimism. Hard to tell.
I'm glad I lost two pounds last week. I know that it's nothing to snarl at but I don't feel like I worked as hard as I could have. I didn't exercise at all. It has been raining the entire week and I couldn't bring myself to hang out with garage kitty and walk on the treadmill. The rain is supposed to stop for the next few days so hopefully I can walk a million miles and lose a hundred pounds or a few miles and five pounds. Either way, I'll be happy.
Even though I haven't lost ten percent of my weight yet, I am feeling better. Some of my physical maladies seem to have ceased or at least lessened. Sounds great, huh? It's not so great though because it weakens my sense of urgency. This past week, I have been way more likely to lick a spoon when I'm cooking or take a bite off my daughter's plate than I was in the prior weeks. Snitching extra food is a dieting disaster. Licking a batter laden spoon is probably 200 calories. If I'm trying to eat only 1,200 calories a day, I'm adding fifteen percent to my daily total just from that one moment of weakness. Major bummer..... and something that could have me right back at 250 pounds if I don't get it under control.
My song hasn't been in my head when I wake up in the morning. I usually have to do a mental search for it mid-morning as it is a reminder of my desire to change the way I think about food. Oddly, I have now listened to a couple of recorded versions of the song and my line, 'Take this heart and make it new' is nowhere in the song. It's would be a good summary of what the song is about but it's not actually in there. I don't know if I have been standing in church, singing the wrong words for years or if these were just the words that I needed and they were provided for me. If I've been singing the wrong words in church, I'll just go ahead and apologize now to anyone that may have been standing around me.