Wednesday Weigh-In (week 6) ~ 230

I'm certainly feeling like a pretty svelte 230 pound Fatty...... until I look in the mirror and see that I pretty much look the same. I think that my legs and my boobs (sorry honey) are smaller but as for the rest of me, not so much. It's hard to tell though because most of my pants have some elastic in the waste. Elastic is the big girl's best friend.

It's at the twenty pound mark that my head really starts playing some tricks on me. I start to feel smaller than I am (kind of like reverse anorexia) and I want to eat. I start to feel a bit entitled - after all, I did just lose twenty pounds! Not good. I am really close to my short term goal of losing ten percent of my body weight so hopefully I can keep that in mind and not have the second half of the cheeseburger that calls to me from the cutting board.

There haven't really been any huge challenges in the past week. I was able to dodge the rain drops and take a couple of really long walks. The weather has not been at all helpful though. We are supposed to have two inches of rain in the next three days. I'm simply not THAT motivated to walk. I'm sure that the sun will shine soon and I can start wearing out the soles of my shoes - which doesn't take long because they were designed for someone much smaller than I.

I've been baking a lot. It seems counter productive but some how it's been kind of therapeutic. It also cuts back on my children asking to ingest processed garbage. Last week I made pumpkin muffins, oatmeal peanut butter cookies and two cakes. One of the cakes was enhanced box mix and probably not very healthy and a major caloric bust. The second cake though, was a carrot cake with coconut, raisins, pineapple, walnuts, sweetened with honey and covered with cream cheese frosting made with real maple syrup instead of sugar. It was amazing. I think I could eat nothing but THAT cake for the rest of my life. I'm guessing that the carrot cake was also a caloric bust but at least it was nutritious....... and SO delicious.

Even more amazing than the carrot cake itself was the fact that even though part of me wanted to eat the entire cake, a stronger part of me didn't want to. Instead of cutting myself a medium size piece, followed by a smaller piece as I cleaned up the kitchen and then finishing with the remains on Little D's plate, I just had one small piece of cake.

I feel like I've come far but in reality, I could gain back what I've lost in a week. I have lost nearly one fifth of my final goal. If I continued to lose at the rate I have been losing, I could reach my end goal by Thanksgiving. That's not likely but maybe by Valentine's Day. That would be nice.