I keep thinking that I should be journaling this journey of mine yet somehow I can't manage to make it happen. I spend endless hours sitting at my computer but the commitment that it takes to write more than a quippy Facebook post seems to much.
I started dieting again last August about a month after my doctor decided that giving me her long term projection for my health was pointless past five years. That was a low moment. I didn't feel fat or at least not that fat. I was just tired all the time and had a lot of headaches. Oh and my knees hurt all the time and I had developed gout at the age of 45. I sweat profusely and literally had no energy to deal with everyday life. I had developed some psoriasis and boils but overall I was good. I was good except that my blood sugar wasn't under control and I had a hard time standing for long periods of time due to a horrible pain in my side when I tried undoubtedly caused by my very fat liver.
I really didn't feel THAT fat. I didn't think I was facing my mortality fat or maybe I did. I thought about death a lot. I was pretty sure I had cancer or heart disease or both. The pain in my side was a constant worry but I didn't go to the doctor about it, none of it. I knew that my general MD would treat the problem and send me on my way or tell me there was nothing to do for what ails me. Doctors never said, "You're killing yourself." They just prescribe something to fix the symptom of a much greater condition. This Endocrinologist was different. She let me know that 10 years from now wasn't worth discussing because if I didn't change, I wouldn't be there. She let me know that she knew it is hard but that it needed to be done and the only way to do it is to change what I eat. She wasn't mean. She was honest.
So why wait a month to get started on trying to save my life? My daughter was heading to the LL World Series and the Hubs was a coach on the team. I had volunteer responsibilities that needed my attention more than my mortality did and..........
And there is a big part of my problem. Procrastination. Putting everything else before my health. It's not really because I'm super generous with my time although it may seem that way. It's more because I was in a dark cloud of depression, overwhelmed with all that I seemed to have lost control of. Well that and that I'm lazy. So, even though I volunteer over a thousand hours a year and run programs and events and do all sorts of great things, I think I was working hard ignore all that I have lose over the years.
The World Series ended and I returned home to face the results of my last set of labs. I made the rational decision to start using the Weight Watchers Ap that I have been paying for every month for the past year and a half and sits on the home screen of my phone unused. My doctor said that if I could just lose twenty pounds, it would really improve my overall health. I was 255 pounds when I started and now four and a half months later, I am hovering around 215. My next doctor's appointment is less than a month away and quite honestly, it is probably the most important date on my calendar. I feel great. I can't wait to see if my body and mind are on the same page.
#health #weightloss #daybyday #weightwatchers
Monday, January 4, 2016
Monday, December 12, 2011
Swim Meet Weekend
Spending twenty-four hours at a pool in one weekend can really only be described as painful, really, really, really painful. It's the kind of painful that makes you wonder if you are going to be able to stand after you finally sit. It's the kind of painful that makes everything else seem a little surreal after you finally leave the swim center. But four times of year, the girls' swim team hosts a meet and I run concessions and ultimately endure the pain out of love and duty.
This past weekend was probably the hardest meet we have ever hosted which actually may have been a good thing because I was so painfully incoherent last night that I went to bed at 8:00 and slept ten and a half hours. I woke up feeling great!! I probably feel better than I did before the meet started! Last swim meet took me a good week to recover from
No weight gained..... maybe even a little lost and I plan to work out this afternoon. Woo hoo. Here's to sleep!
This past weekend was probably the hardest meet we have ever hosted which actually may have been a good thing because I was so painfully incoherent last night that I went to bed at 8:00 and slept ten and a half hours. I woke up feeling great!! I probably feel better than I did before the meet started! Last swim meet took me a good week to recover from
No weight gained..... maybe even a little lost and I plan to work out this afternoon. Woo hoo. Here's to sleep!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
To obsess or not to obsess?
Yes. that is the question.
I lost weight over the week of Thanksgiving. Three pounds. I worked out four days and was totally aware of everything I ingested. I worried before my family arrived. I blogged. I planned. I made myself very aware of potential pitfalls and planned for small indulgences. I lost three pounds.
The following week, the Hubs went to Japan. I had three, sometimes four kiddos with daily activities and a huge volunteer deadline looming over me for the upcoming weekend. I gained five pounds. I didn't spend the week eating junk but I wasn't thinking through every snack and meal. I didn't drink enough water. I didn't sleep enough. I didn't exercise enough. I didn't spend enough time thinking about my objective. I didn't obsess.
The Hubs is home now and the weight seems to have gone back down so it was mainly water. If I had continued on though, the weight would have stayed and I would have continued to gain. This brings me to my question. Is obsessing constantly over how you are taking care of your body, the only way to have a major weight loss? I know what I think but I often hear people saying that they won't do anything drastic. Or that they would never eliminate a food group. I've heard people say that they can't deviate their diets because of the stress it puts one their families. Friends have said that don't think it's healthy to be hungry. I remember a friend saying that she couldn't obsess about losing weight and my agreeing with her. She didn't have time for it to take that much of her life up. It all makes sense if you listen to the words just right but here's the deal.
Gaining a hundred pounds was drastic. The eating habits that got me to where I am today were nothing short of extreme. Yes, I have a thyroid problem and my metabolism is not what it once was but that is a direct result of my weight gain. Balance is great and if I had always been able to maintain balance, my body wouldn't be getting sick from certain foods. The fact that I gorged on sugars and carbs has made my body attack itself and now I am better without them. (of course I believe we'd all be better off without simple carbs but I alays think everyone should be doing what I'm doing) Hunger pains last for eleven minutes and can usually be alleviated with a glass of water. When I wasn't obsessing about losing weight, I was fairly obsessed about my mortality. I spent countless moments each day thinking about what was causing my headaches, side aches or bloody noses. I would think about what my children were leaning from me. I would think each day about all that I couldn't do with my family. I obsessed about my largesqueness,
So, when I weigh the pros and cons on obsessing about my losing weight, I have to say that obsession seems to be the wise choice........
I lost weight over the week of Thanksgiving. Three pounds. I worked out four days and was totally aware of everything I ingested. I worried before my family arrived. I blogged. I planned. I made myself very aware of potential pitfalls and planned for small indulgences. I lost three pounds.
The following week, the Hubs went to Japan. I had three, sometimes four kiddos with daily activities and a huge volunteer deadline looming over me for the upcoming weekend. I gained five pounds. I didn't spend the week eating junk but I wasn't thinking through every snack and meal. I didn't drink enough water. I didn't sleep enough. I didn't exercise enough. I didn't spend enough time thinking about my objective. I didn't obsess.
The Hubs is home now and the weight seems to have gone back down so it was mainly water. If I had continued on though, the weight would have stayed and I would have continued to gain. This brings me to my question. Is obsessing constantly over how you are taking care of your body, the only way to have a major weight loss? I know what I think but I often hear people saying that they won't do anything drastic. Or that they would never eliminate a food group. I've heard people say that they can't deviate their diets because of the stress it puts one their families. Friends have said that don't think it's healthy to be hungry. I remember a friend saying that she couldn't obsess about losing weight and my agreeing with her. She didn't have time for it to take that much of her life up. It all makes sense if you listen to the words just right but here's the deal.
Gaining a hundred pounds was drastic. The eating habits that got me to where I am today were nothing short of extreme. Yes, I have a thyroid problem and my metabolism is not what it once was but that is a direct result of my weight gain. Balance is great and if I had always been able to maintain balance, my body wouldn't be getting sick from certain foods. The fact that I gorged on sugars and carbs has made my body attack itself and now I am better without them. (of course I believe we'd all be better off without simple carbs but I alays think everyone should be doing what I'm doing) Hunger pains last for eleven minutes and can usually be alleviated with a glass of water. When I wasn't obsessing about losing weight, I was fairly obsessed about my mortality. I spent countless moments each day thinking about what was causing my headaches, side aches or bloody noses. I would think about what my children were leaning from me. I would think each day about all that I couldn't do with my family. I obsessed about my largesqueness,
So, when I weigh the pros and cons on obsessing about my losing weight, I have to say that obsession seems to be the wise choice........
Sunday, November 27, 2011
superhuman
Disclaimer: I love my friend that I am posting about.
Monday morning I stopped by one of my very favorite friend's houses to pick up the beautiful center piece she made me for Thanksgiving. I hadn't seen her in a while but I didn't really think she would notice that I have lost weight. We've been friends for a lot of years and it wouldn't be like her to notice.
When I got there she was getting her hair done. We use the same gal. We were chatting as she got her hair done and they started talking about the diet my friend, D., has been on. they both said it was AMAZING and that D. had shrunk quickly. Mind you, I have never seen D. bigger than a size four and she is usually smaller than that. She has always exercised and has done every diet and fast known to man.
When I asked what the diet was, D. responded that it is called the Superhuman Diet. I have since looked up the Superhuman Diet online and couldn't find it but here's is the gist of it. Eat only veggies and lean protein and nothing processed...... except for one Diet Coke a day. Now fruit, dairy or grains. The biggest dealio though is that you have to take a cold shower twice a day. Apparently, the cold shower is horrific. I can imagine.
I've lost close to thirty-five pounds. I do eat dairy and fruit....... no grains, but warm showers. I really love my warm showers. Hmmm, but nobody asked about what I'm eating. Pretty sure that I am sometimes completely invisible.
Monday morning I stopped by one of my very favorite friend's houses to pick up the beautiful center piece she made me for Thanksgiving. I hadn't seen her in a while but I didn't really think she would notice that I have lost weight. We've been friends for a lot of years and it wouldn't be like her to notice.
When I got there she was getting her hair done. We use the same gal. We were chatting as she got her hair done and they started talking about the diet my friend, D., has been on. they both said it was AMAZING and that D. had shrunk quickly. Mind you, I have never seen D. bigger than a size four and she is usually smaller than that. She has always exercised and has done every diet and fast known to man.
When I asked what the diet was, D. responded that it is called the Superhuman Diet. I have since looked up the Superhuman Diet online and couldn't find it but here's is the gist of it. Eat only veggies and lean protein and nothing processed...... except for one Diet Coke a day. Now fruit, dairy or grains. The biggest dealio though is that you have to take a cold shower twice a day. Apparently, the cold shower is horrific. I can imagine.
I've lost close to thirty-five pounds. I do eat dairy and fruit....... no grains, but warm showers. I really love my warm showers. Hmmm, but nobody asked about what I'm eating. Pretty sure that I am sometimes completely invisible.
Monday, November 21, 2011
225 again....
I think it's been less than twelve hours since I said I probably wouldn't post again until after Thanksgiving but here I am anyway! I got on the scale this morning and I had finally reached 225 again. A few things are going through my mind as I hit this milestone weight.
First, it's probably not as big of a milestone as the last time I hit it. I had creeped past 250 pounds so 25 pounds is no longer a ten percent weight loss. It's more than ten percent which is a good thing but it doesn't really feel good because it means that I had gained even more weight over the past couple of years.
It's been a year and a half since I last weighed 225. It was when I reached this goal before that I cheated once, twice, a million times before it wasn't cheating any more. I read yesterday that it takes our bodies about a year to recover from dieting. Calorie restriction leads to our metabolism getting all wacky and that the urge to gorge intensifies after a little slip. Seems about right, doesn't it?
Quite honestly, I probably weighed 220-225 when D. was born so I haven't weighed less than this in five and a half years. That's a tad intimidating. So now I face the food holiday armed with the knowledge that I am at a historically weak point. If I want to be successful, this is not a good time to have sausage dressing, sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie with a mountain of whipped cream on top!
First, it's probably not as big of a milestone as the last time I hit it. I had creeped past 250 pounds so 25 pounds is no longer a ten percent weight loss. It's more than ten percent which is a good thing but it doesn't really feel good because it means that I had gained even more weight over the past couple of years.
It's been a year and a half since I last weighed 225. It was when I reached this goal before that I cheated once, twice, a million times before it wasn't cheating any more. I read yesterday that it takes our bodies about a year to recover from dieting. Calorie restriction leads to our metabolism getting all wacky and that the urge to gorge intensifies after a little slip. Seems about right, doesn't it?
Quite honestly, I probably weighed 220-225 when D. was born so I haven't weighed less than this in five and a half years. That's a tad intimidating. So now I face the food holiday armed with the knowledge that I am at a historically weak point. If I want to be successful, this is not a good time to have sausage dressing, sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie with a mountain of whipped cream on top!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
best diet tip ever...........
I am a fan of the Nutrition Diva on Facebook and if you're not you should be. She rocks. Always makes sense and calls things out the way they are not what the medical community or government wants you to believe. I haven't read any of her books or listened to her podcasts but I find the articles and research information that she posts on Facebook interesting.
I just scoured her page looking for an article that I read last week about ho we lose weight evenly throughout our body and the shape we are fat is the same shape we are skinny except on a different scale. There are always exercises or routines touted to shrink a certain spot but the truth is, the only way to shrink a specific spot more than others is to have it surgically removed. Anyway, I couldn't find that article but I found another with the best advice I have ever heard.
The trick to losing weight is to start at the finish line. Or in other words start with the end in mind. First you have to think about why you want to lose weight and what you will do when the weight is lost. How will you maintain your weight loss? What will you eat? I know that my goal weight is 140 pounds. To maintain that, I will have to eat between 1,800 and 2,100 calories a day and exercise 4-5 hours a week with moderate intensity. I can imagine myself having yogurt and blueberries every morning, a salad for lunch and a protein, veggies and fruit for dinner with a delightful bowl of ice cream for dessert after my kiddos have gone to bed. I can totally do all of this now. I imagine myself running three miles a day and swimming a couple of times a week as well. I think Zumba would be fun. I can't run yet. At least not very far. I made it about a block today but I can swim and I can try Zumba.
I guess it's really just another twist on the 'not a diet but a lifestyle change' line but it seemed to work better for me.\
Happy Thanksgiving. I doubt I'll write again before the big diet buster day. I am thankful for so many things but this year I am going to really focus on my ability to make choices. I am thankful that I can choose not to eat myself to oblivion and still enjoy the holiday with my family.
I just scoured her page looking for an article that I read last week about ho we lose weight evenly throughout our body and the shape we are fat is the same shape we are skinny except on a different scale. There are always exercises or routines touted to shrink a certain spot but the truth is, the only way to shrink a specific spot more than others is to have it surgically removed. Anyway, I couldn't find that article but I found another with the best advice I have ever heard.
The trick to losing weight is to start at the finish line. Or in other words start with the end in mind. First you have to think about why you want to lose weight and what you will do when the weight is lost. How will you maintain your weight loss? What will you eat? I know that my goal weight is 140 pounds. To maintain that, I will have to eat between 1,800 and 2,100 calories a day and exercise 4-5 hours a week with moderate intensity. I can imagine myself having yogurt and blueberries every morning, a salad for lunch and a protein, veggies and fruit for dinner with a delightful bowl of ice cream for dessert after my kiddos have gone to bed. I can totally do all of this now. I imagine myself running three miles a day and swimming a couple of times a week as well. I think Zumba would be fun. I can't run yet. At least not very far. I made it about a block today but I can swim and I can try Zumba.
I guess it's really just another twist on the 'not a diet but a lifestyle change' line but it seemed to work better for me.\
Happy Thanksgiving. I doubt I'll write again before the big diet buster day. I am thankful for so many things but this year I am going to really focus on my ability to make choices. I am thankful that I can choose not to eat myself to oblivion and still enjoy the holiday with my family.
Monday, November 14, 2011
And now the holidays are among us.....
I haven't written in a while. It took me until last week to start working out again. I did make it five days last week but my headaches had started again. I guess I hadn't cured my diabetes. Go figure. Anyway, the headache has subsided, no bloody noses and my weight is down ever so modestly but now the holidays are here.
Thanksgiving is next week. I wish it was just a 'skip a dessert and all is good' sort of day but it's not. It's a carboholics nightmare.... or dream depending where you are in your addiction. Just preparing the food (and tasting it to make sure it's palatable) could probably throw me into a coma. From the traditional sausage stuffing that I have over indulged in every year of my life to the brandy spiked sweet potato casserole, it's as if there is danger lurking in every calorie. Not to mention all of the snacks. Good grief. I should just have it catered and then fake the flu so I can stay in my bed. I suggested to my brother, that visits with his family every year at Thanksgiving, that we should rebel and grill fillet mignon along with mashed potatoes (which I can easily skip and my sister-in-law likes to make) and green beans, He didn't go for it. I was kind of surprised. Does anyone really even like the traditional all labor intensive Thanksgiving meal? Seriously, if you were in a restaurant with a full menu and roasted turkey with mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, dressing, cranberry sauce, gravy and a roll was on the menu, would you choose it over steak? I think not! That's why it's not on the menu. I guess with the traditional meal, I can be thankful for the fact that I survived it's preparation and that we have lots of kids to do the dishes.
I'd really like to lose another 17 pounds by the end of the year so that in itself should keep me from too much risk to my health. I so, so, so want to be below 200 pounds by my birthday. It's a long shot at this point but I still want it enough to work for it.
Thanksgiving is next week. I wish it was just a 'skip a dessert and all is good' sort of day but it's not. It's a carboholics nightmare.... or dream depending where you are in your addiction. Just preparing the food (and tasting it to make sure it's palatable) could probably throw me into a coma. From the traditional sausage stuffing that I have over indulged in every year of my life to the brandy spiked sweet potato casserole, it's as if there is danger lurking in every calorie. Not to mention all of the snacks. Good grief. I should just have it catered and then fake the flu so I can stay in my bed. I suggested to my brother, that visits with his family every year at Thanksgiving, that we should rebel and grill fillet mignon along with mashed potatoes (which I can easily skip and my sister-in-law likes to make) and green beans, He didn't go for it. I was kind of surprised. Does anyone really even like the traditional all labor intensive Thanksgiving meal? Seriously, if you were in a restaurant with a full menu and roasted turkey with mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, dressing, cranberry sauce, gravy and a roll was on the menu, would you choose it over steak? I think not! That's why it's not on the menu. I guess with the traditional meal, I can be thankful for the fact that I survived it's preparation and that we have lots of kids to do the dishes.
I'd really like to lose another 17 pounds by the end of the year so that in itself should keep me from too much risk to my health. I so, so, so want to be below 200 pounds by my birthday. It's a long shot at this point but I still want it enough to work for it.
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